The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant by Drew Hayes

Author:Drew Hayes [Hayes, Drew]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3, mobi
Publisher: REUTS Publications, LLC.
Published: 2014-07-26T00:00:00+00:00

7.

“How’s it looking out there?” I asked as Albert came scurrying back into our stable. We’d discovered that the stables on the opposite of the arena were empty of horses and used for equipment, so we’d set up shop there to get gear for the match. We’d spent several hours riding and getting comfortable with the lance and made some key discoveries. Bubba’s height really was a detriment, my aim was one as well, and it was damn hard to find a saddle that would fit a pony in a stable stocked for jousting horses.

“Pretty full,” Albert said. People had been filtering in for nearly an hour, and sooner or later, we’d be called out into the arena. Some casino workers had given us the rundown a few hours previously. Apparently, we would be called onto the floor and make introductions. Then Morgan would explain the rules, and we would bow to one another, and the fight would start. I guess I wasn’t surprised a shrewd businessman like Morgan was filling the seats for this show; I just hoped that didn’t mean I was in deep shit if I did something supernatural. If only Krystal were here, I could have asked her who was responsible for secrecy in this situation.

I felt a pang in my stomach when I thought about Krystal. It seemed like every time I’d wound up in this scenario before, she’d rushed in and saved me somehow. A part of me had kept expecting her to come into the arena last night and explain how she’d worked everything out, and we could go home. Sitting there, wearing rusty armor and holding a large wooden lance, it finally sank in all the way. Krystal wasn’t coming to our rescue this time. Today, the only cavalry we had was a werepony, a bumbling zombie, and a chickenshit vampire. I wondered if it was too late to place a bet on the other guy to win.

“You got a good grip on your lance?” Albert asked.

“Huh?” I said, yanking myself out of my reverie. “Oh, yeah, it feels just like holding a baseball bat.”

“When did you ever play baseball?”

“I tried for the team in high school. Didn’t do so well,” I said, purposely keeping my answer brief. No need to go into details about accidently whacking the coach in the balls when the bat slipped out of my hands.

“Fred,” Albert said. “Do your best.”

“I’ll give it my all, however much that’s worth.”

“Contestants, please report to the arena!” A loud voice thundered through our stable, indicating it was time for the match to begin. Albert hustled over to the doors and worked them open. They were a touch rusty, so it took a few moments before they were wide enough for Bubba and I to exit through. As a result, the dracoling champion was already out in the arena, garnering cheers and roses from the fans. He was a strapping young man, long blond hair and large physique under his glistening armor.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.